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Civilization VII: Conquering Wallets Instead of Worlds (Satire)

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Civilization VII: Conquering Wallets Instead of Worlds (Satire)

Welcome to Civilization VII, where the real strategy is figuring out how to afford it. Fans of the storied franchise are used to building empires and managing resources, but nothing prepared them for the sticker shock of Civ VII’s launch. In a move that has gamers doing double-takes at their bank statements, Civ VII landed with a price tag fit for an emperor – and yes, we’re talking over $100 just to get the “full” experience on day one. It’s as if Firaxis and 2K looked at the success of past Civilization games and thought, “Hmm, how can we make players feel like Civ stands for Civilization Income Vacuum instead?” 😜

In this humorous exposé, we’ll break down how Civilization VII’s pricing and DLC model have gone off the rails (and off the tech tree), compare it to previous games (spoiler: the DLC empire has struck back, harder than ever), and highlight the salty reactions from gamers and critics alike. Grab your luxury resources (might we suggest salt?), because this satire is about to harvest some truth.

Sticker Shock at Launch: A $100+ “Base” Game? Seriously?

Remember when buying a new video game didn’t require a small loan? Pepperidge Farm remembers. But apparently, Civilization VII doesn’t. The base game itself launched at $69.99 USD – already at the new “premium” AAA price poin (Is Civilization 7 Worth It?-Mobile Game Guide-php.cn)】. Yet if you wanted the complete package (you know, the kind of complete that older Civ titles used to be at launch), you’re looking at shelling out over a hundred bucks up front. In fact, Civ VII’s Deluxe Edition costs $99.99 and the *Founder’s Edition a whopping $129.99 (Is Civilization 7 Worth It?-Mobile Game Guide-php.cn)】. That’s right: to access all the initially advertised content, you must drop roughly double the cost of a typical new game. Who needs food or rent when you can invest in virtual civilization, amirite? 🙃

What do you get for these princely sums? The Deluxe Edition bribes you with an extra leader (Tecumseh) and the Shawnee civilization, plus promises of the first DLC pack (“Crossroads of the World” collection) once it releas (Is Civilization 7 Worth It?-Mobile Game Guide-php.cn)5】. The Founder’s Edition throws in everything Deluxe has plus a second DLC pack (“Right to Rule” collection), effectively pre-selling two expansions before you’ve even finished downloading the base ga (Is Civilization 7 Worth It?-Mobile Game Guide-php.cn)5】. Firaxis essentially said, “Give us $130 now, and we’ll drip-feed you new civs and leaders later.” How generous! 🙄

To put this in perspective: Civilization VI launched in 2016 at around $59.99, and you got a full game (with England included, imagine that!). By contrast, Civilization VII’s “complete” launch-day experience is over $120 when you factor in those DLC pa (What made Civ VII so expensive? :: Sid Meier’s Civilization VII General) (Civilization VII review: The best stop for world domination | Windows Central)63】. One stunned fan in Brazil did the math and realized Civ7’s standard edition costs nearly 3x as much as Civ6 did in his region (R$349.90 vs R$129), and the Founder’s Edition would set him back R$649.50 – “with this money I can buy 3 500GB SSDs,” he quip (Prices are insane | CivFanatics Forums)07】. 😱 In other words, Firaxis is charging the kind of price that could literally buy you enough storage to install every previous Civ game and all their DLC… twice.

To illustrate just how absurd this is, here are a few alternative ways to spend $130 (instead of funding your Civ VII habit up front):

  • ~21 months of Game Pass Ultimate: Hundreds of games for the price of one “Ultimate Civ” bundle. Quantity over quality? Perhaps. But at least you won’t have to auction your kidney.
  • A nice weekend getaway: Because for $130 you could tour a real historical city instead of bankrupting one in-game.
  • Three 500GB SSDs: Yep, as that Brazilian gamer noted, you could upgrade your PC storage and still have ch (Prices are insane | CivFanatics Forums)407】 – storage you might need to hold all those DLCs later on! 😂

So unless you’ve been saving gold per turn in a secret Swiss bank account, Civ VII’s pricing is an absolute gut-punch. And we’re just getting started.

Day-One DLC? Two Expansions Before “One More Turn” Even Begins

As if the base price wasn’t shocking enough, Civilization VII arrived with DLC plans launched faster than a turn-one scout. The game hit the shelves with two DLC expansions essentially already in the pipeline and being sold upfront via the special edi (Civilization VII review: The best stop for world domination | Windows Central) (Civilization VII review: The best stop for world domination | Windows Central)L463】. That’s right: before players could even utter “just one more turn,” the publishers were already whispering “just one more purchase.” 🙄

The first DLC, cheerily titled “Crossroads of the World,” was announced before the game even released. It’s scheduled to drop a mere one month post-launch (March 2025) and will add **two new leaders, four new civilizations (oh hey, Great Britain!), and four new natural won (Civilization VII review: The best stop for world domination | Windows Central)-L460】. Yes, you read that correctly – the British Empire is now paid DLC. The civilization that literally ruled half the world in history got paywalled in Civ VII. For $70, the base game didn’t even include the civ that pretty much every history strategy fan expects by default. Instead, Great Britain (a “standard civ” if ever there was one) was held back to sweeten that DLC deal. As one incredulous player laughed, *“$70 on release and then gating standard civs like England behind a DLC that’s only 1 month in? (Launching paid DLC ONE MONTH(!) after launch is pretty disgusting, in my opinion. – r/civ)-L518】. The absurdity is rich – unlike our wallets after buying this game.

Hot on the heels of DLC #1, a second expansion called “Right to Rule” is slated for a few months later (between April and September (Civilization VII review: The best stop for world domination | Windows Central)-L460】. Combined, these two DLCs promise a bevy of civs, leaders and content that could easily have been part of the base game – or at least held for a respectful interval, like maybe let us enjoy the vanilla game for a year? But no, in Civ VII the DLC floodgates opened before the ink was dry on the game’s launch screen.

Long-time Civ fans will recall that previous entries weren’t saints about DLC either, but this is a new level. Civilization V (2010) launched at a much lower price and gave players a solid roster of civs out of the box, with expansions (Gods & Kings, Brave New World) coming years later. Civilization VI (2016) did introduce some cosmetic and scenario DLCs soon after release, but it at least waited a bit before major expansions (and its DLC packs were modest additions, often included in a $79 Deluxe Edition that covered six add-on ((Post) Launch DLC schedule | Page 4 | CivFanatics Forums)-L167】. By contrast, Civ VII is doubling down on DLC from day one: the Founder’s Edition advertises 12 DLC packs (collections) to come, which is twice the number Civ VI’s deluxe edition initially o ((Post) Launch DLC schedule | Page 4 | CivFanatics Forums)-L167】. Firaxis basically said, “Welcome to Civ VII. Future DLC is our new Victory Condition!” 🤑

This aggressive DLC model is so blatant that even history’s greatest conquerors would be impressed. Alexander the Great might have wept because there were no more worlds to conquer – but 2K will never weep as long as there are more DLC packs to sell. Genghis Khan’s expansion across Eurasia looks downright gentle compared to Civ VII’s expansion across your credit card statement.

Gamer Reactions: “One More Turn? More Like One More Refund!” 😂

The Civilization community is famous for its passion — and that passion turned to fiery revolt when Civ VII’s pricing and DLC shenanigans came to light. Forums and social media have been flooded with reactions ranging from sarcastic humor to outright rage. Here’s a sampling of the community’s colorful commentary (prepare the salt):

  • Reddit user u/fatamSC2: *“For real. $70 on release and then gating standard civs like England behind a DLC that’s only 1 month i (Launching paid DLC ONE MONTH(!) after launch is pretty disgusting, in my opinion. – r/civ)10-L518】. – The lol here is doing heavy lifting. It’s the laugh of someone who can’t believe how brazen this is. Charging full price and still holding Winston Churchill hostage behind a paywall? Bold move, Firaxis.
  • Reddit user u/adrianomega: *“Agreed Civ 7 is way overpriced and has predatory tiers/DLC. I put this blame fully on 2K and will be waiting for a 60%+ discount before I even touch base (Launching paid DLC ONE MONTH(!) after launch is pretty disgusting, in my opinion. – r/civ)48-L552】. – This gamer is practicing a time-honored strategy: Patience (a.k.a. the “I’ll wait for the Complete Edition on sale” victory). When a loyal Civ fan outright refuses to buy at launch, you know the pricing strategy has backfired spectacularly.
  • Steam forum user strategic_panda: *“For Civilization VI, including all the DLCs, I spent around $200–300 in total… Now, the base version of Civ VII with two minor DLCs costs more than half of (What made Civ VII so expensive? :: Sid Meier’s Civilization VII General)95-L102】. – This longtime fan did the math and realized Civ VII wants $100+ right out of the gate. Their conclusion? *“I’m a big fan… but this time, not at launch. I’ll wait for a (What made Civ VII so expensive? :: Sid Meier’s Civilization VII General)05-L110】 Many others are echoing this sentiment with the fervor of a Civ leader denouncing an aggressive neighbor at the World Congress.
  • One seasoned Civ player on Reddit (who’s been playing since the DOS era of Civ I!) put it in Aussie terms: *“When I look at the price at 120 dollarydoos… yeah nah… gonna wait for [a] (Launching paid DLC ONE MONTH(!) after launch is pretty disgusting, in my opinion. – r/civ)08-L614】. – (For the uninitiated, “dollarydoos” = Australian dollars, and a very real reference to a Simpsons joke). If veterans who have spent decades with this franchise are noping out until a discount, that’s a bad omen. 🔥
  • Over on the CivFanatics forum, one frustrated fan exclaimed, *“The price is insane! … With [the money for Civ7], I can buy 3 500G (Prices are insane | CivFanatics Forums)402-L407】 – Emphasizing how real-world expensive this game is. Another flatly said, *“$99 for the deluxe edition? $129 for the founder’s edition? That’s a hard, HARD pass. I’ll wait a few (Prices are insane | CivFanatics Forums)343-L351】. Years! Civ VII might be on Civ VIII by the time some of these folks feel the current game is reasonably priced. Ouch.

Even the meme-makers had a field day: “Breaking News: Civilization VII research tree unlocks new technology – ‘Microtransaction Mining’ – allows unlimited extraction of cash from player base.” 😜 The sarcasm is strong with this one, but the outrage is very real. When gamers joke that the only viable strategy in Civ VII is an economic victory in real life (i.e. keep your money), you know the developers have a PR problem.

To put it bluntly, Firaxis has achieved the rare feat of uniting all civs (I mean, players) under one banner – unfortunately for them, that banner reads “#BoycottCiv7 until sale”.

Critics and Reviewers: Not Amused, Either 🙄

It’s not just the fans venting; even professional critics and reviewers are rolling their eyes at Civ VII’s monetization strategy. Sure, many critics praise the core gameplay innovations (Civ VII does have some cool new mechanics, when you’re not calculating its cost per hour of fun), but the pricing model and day-one DLC have been widely panned in reviews and op-eds.

For instance, Windows Central’s review explicitly called out the DLC fiasco. The reviewer notes that after paying $70 for the base game, you still don’t get the first two DLC packs – those are sold separately or via pricey editions. *“To secure the first DLC, you need to buy the Deluxe Edition for $100… To secure both announced DLCs, you need the Founder’s Edition… a whopping $13 (Civilization VII review: The best stop for world domination | Windows Central)†L460-L463】. They go on to say, *“I hate to see paid DLCs announced before the game has launched, especially when the base game isn’t exact (Civilization VII review: The best stop for world domination | Windows Central)†L475-L478】. When a reviewer uses the phrase “whopping $130” and hates what the publisher is doing, that’s a red flag bigger than a Civ settler on unmet land.

Likewise, TheGamer’s coverage didn’t mince words about cost. They flat-out state “Civilization VII isn’t cheap” and break down the edition prices (confirming that Deluxe and Founder’s will cost you $99.99 and $129.99 respectively for those extra civs a (Is Civilization 7 Worth It?-Mobile Game Guide-php.cn)29†L75-L83】. More tellingly, TheGamer’s critics took issue with the launch-day paid DLC model as a major downside. One reviewer acknowledged Civ VII is a “classic with new twists” but flagged “concerns over launch-day paid DLC” among th (Is Civilization 7 Worth It?-Mobile Game Guide-php.cn)29†L89-L97】. Another went further, advising players to “wait a year” because of the “significant unfinished elements and the negative impact of launch-day paid DLC” on the (Is Civilization 7 Worth It?-Mobile Game Guide-php.cn)9†L98-L106】. In summary: the content might be good, but the way it’s being sold is decidedly not.

Even in user reviews and Steam comments, you’ll find gems like *“Company’s greed, and people who pay any price the company tells them to pay… AAA gaming gets more expensive, but the content (What made Civ VII so expensive? :: Sid Meier’s Civilization VII General)†L143-L149】. That particular rant could be directed at the entire gaming industry, but Civ VII has become the poster child of this trend. It’s getting to the point where “Civ VII” and “cash grab” are being mentioned in the same breath in editorials and community discussions across the internet.

The consensus from the critics? Civilization VII is an excellent game trapped behind an awful pricing strategy. They love the gameplay changes, they hate the feeling that the publisher is nickel-and-diming players from day one. As one review title put it, “Civ 7 is fun, but maybe wait for the Complete Edition”. In other words: the idea of ruling the world in Civ is fun; feeling like you have to take out a second mortgage to do it is not.

Conclusion: A Humorous Plea for a (Financial) Revolution 💸🎮

Civilization VII might have introduced new ages and mechanics, but it seems to have also ushered in a new era of aggressive monetization that has players more exasperated than Gandhi when you don’t share your religion. This satirical look at Civ VII’s pricing is all in good fun, but beneath the humor lies a genuine consumer outcry: gamers are tired of being treated like walking wallets.

Firaxis and 2K have accomplished something remarkable: they’ve made the community long for the days of Civilization VI’s DLC model – a model we already thought was pushing it! The DLC deluge in Civ VII makes earlier games’ expansion passes look quaint by comparison. It’s as if each new Civilization title is less about “Will I beat France to Alpha Centauri?” and more about “Will I still have money for dinner after buying all this?”.

In the grand scheme of history, many great empires fell due to overextension and greed. Consider this a tongue-in-cheek history lesson for the publishers: if you squeeze your citizens (players) too hard with taxes (prices), expect a revolt. And revolt they have – on forums, on Reddit, in Steam reviews – basically anywhere gamers can raise a banner of complaint. The outcry has been so loud that even those of us just looking for some turn-based fun can’t ignore it.

So, dear readers, what’s the takeaway? Maybe hold off on crowning yourself Supreme Leader in Civ VII until the price comes down to Earth. Let the “complete edition” (with all those DLC included) come out in a year or two at a nice discount – you know, the way Sid Meier intended 😉. In the meantime, there’s always Civ VI (now often on sale for the price of a coffee) or a backlog of other games to tide you over. Patience is a virtue, and judging by the gamer reactions, a lot of Civ fans have suddenly become very virtuous indeed.

Humor aside, we do hope Civ VII eventually finds a balance between profit and player goodwill. It’s okay for game companies to make money (we want our favorite series to thrive, after all), but there’s a fine line between a fair trade and a cash grab. Civ VII currently resembles the latter, satirically exaggerated or not. Perhaps the powers-that-be will learn from this feedback (one can dream!). Until then, the motto for many franchise veterans has become: “Just one more turn… on waiting for a sale.” 💸🎉

<Game over, man. Game over!> (At least until the 75%-off Steam sale 😜)

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